Birth Story--Part 1: No Labor Yet

Mother nature plays cruel tricks on us sometimes. You know, teasing us with a day or two of warm weather and sending snow and hail for the next two weeks. Stuff like that. And so it was that I had two babies early--one at 38 weeks and one at 39 weeks--before this pregnancy came along to keep me humble. Oh, I know there are many women who are lucky to be done with a pregnancy by 41 weeks. And I feel for them. But going all the way to 40 weeks isn't something I've done since back in 2005. I just didn't prepare myself for it.

So as Thursday morning (March 14th) dawned, and I contemplated the day ahead, I was a little disheartened. In addition to having my 40 week prenatal visit that afternoon, my mother and sister were arriving that afternoon to see my baby and help me. Except there was obviously no baby. So they would arrive and bring with them all sorts of pressure to get this baby here. Right away! I kept telling myself that I wasn't even late yet. My due date was still a day away--beware the ides of March!--and all that. But the persistent feeling that someone had taken a hammer to my pubic bone was drowning out any comfort I was trying to give myself.

As Jeremy was getting ready to leave for work, I said, "what could I do today to distract myself?"
He said, "Go walk the mall?"

So I did. Only, with Edmund, walking the mall means walking to the candy/gumball machine display, getting some candy, then walking to the kids play area, and playing for a while. So that's what we did. I sat and watched him delightedly climbing around, and then we shared a soft pretzel before leaving to pick up Johnny from school. A little last morning date for mommy and Edmund.

My appointment to see my midwife was at 2:30 that afternoon, so Jeremy had agreed to come home early and stay with the boys so Edmund could get a nap and I wouldn't have to drag them with me. He arrived about 2pm and I left for the prenatal appointment I had foolishly told myself I probably wouldn't even have to go to.

The part you may want to know about that prenatal appointment is that my midwife checked my cervix. I had declined this the previous week because I really thought that knowing if I was at all dilated would just mess with my mind, but I knew I would do it this time. The first thing the midwife said was, "this baby's head is SO LOW." Then she started laughing. "You're at 4 cm," she said.

I said, "that kind of scares me."
"Why?"
"Because what if my water breaks first?"
"You're right, she could come really fast. But you have to have some labor. There's always some labor. You just call us as soon as anything happens, and we'll get there."

(From here on out, I will list what time it was when every item occurred.)

3:18pm
I called my sister Alyce on the way home from my appointment with the midwife. She was on her way from her house to the Philadelphia airport to pick up my mom whose flight was arriving at 4:15pm. "I'm gonna be late to pick mom up," she told me. She asked me to email her with the directions to my house from the airport.

I told her about being 4cm dilated. I said, among other things, "I'm already at 4cm, and I'm not even in labor! Some women labor for hours and hours and hours just to be told that they are finally at a 4. I'm not not even in labor. That's nuts!" We also talked about my fear that the baby wouldn't be born while she and my mom were here (Friday and Saturday) or even while my mom was here for the rest of a week. I was feeling concerned.

I was also feeling a little crampy from the cervix check.

I got home and told Jeremy about what I'd learned. He was trying to work from home a little to get the day's loose ends tied up.

3:55pm
I told Jeremy I was going to go lie down. I needed a rest after a somewhat active day, and I was still feeling a little crampy and figured lying down would help with that.

4:15pm
The phone rang. It was my sister Lola (I found out later). Jeremy answered. She had just called to say hi and see how I was doing. He reported that I was resting but that there wasn't really anything else to report.