Warning--Dream Post

Whenever my father shows up in one of my dreams, I think extra hard about that dream, trying to make sense of it, but also trying to remember it. A dad dream is almost a treat for me because it's as close as I get to him these days. I never can make sense of it, or any other dreams, so I don't know why I still try. I believe that most dreams are my brain's efforts to sort through and order the thoughts and images of my waking life. I also believe that it's possible to learn from my dreams for that reason--maybe my sleeping brain has made a connection that my waking brain hasn't and maybe I should pay attention. But most of the time, a dream is just a dream.

I can't remember the beginning part of the most recent dream about my dad, but I do remember walking out of a building out onto the sidewalk. I was carrying a baby. I looked down the street and saw what I was looking for--my husband. I called out to him and he paused. He turned and asked what I wanted. I was distraught and told him I needed help. There was a goose following me trying to peck me, knock me down, whatever else geese can do to people. He told me he needed to go somewhere (I don't remember where) and turned to walk away. Just then the goose caught up and did something to knock me off balance. I nearly dropped the baby but caught him by grabbing a roll of his fat before he hit the sidewalk. My husband turned and said "I'm sorry, I have to go" and kept walking away. I turned back toward the building and the goose still pursued me, pecking at my butt. What the goose was doing was extremely distressing and made it difficult to hold and care for the baby.

My father came out of the building now and came toward me. He tried to shoo the bird away and at the same time tried to quickly usher me back into the building. I think I was crying and screaming. He said reassuring things to me, that he would help me. He out his arm around me.

I don't remember what happened when we went back into the building. The goose did not follow. My husband did not come back in the dream.

Once again, I can't make sense of it. I don't know what it means and/or it doesn't mean anything. I haven't learned anything from it. It is just a dream. Parts of it disturb me and I want to forget them, but parts of it are a small comfort to me, and I want to remember them.