Dear pre-pregnancy jeans in a bag:
It's been three months since I stopped being pregnant. Is that enough time? Will any of you be happy to see me? Or should I put you back in storage for a few more weeks?
Let me know,
Ann
Dear deep purple lilacs on the trees in the backyard:
It was really great seeing you today. I'm sorry I haven't spent enough time with you this year. Can we get together again tomorrow?
Hoping to make it up to you,
Ann
Dear Thomas Hardy (deceased):
What happened to you when you were young?
I'm here for you,
Ann
PS I think my brother is wondering the same thing.
Dear people at the grocery store:
Please stop pointing to my baby and asking "what aisle did you find that on?" I've heard it so many times that I can now no longer pretend to find it funny. And when you ignore this advice and ask anyway and I dig deep to find the friendliness to say, "you have to special order," please chuckle and walk away.
I know he's cute, but c'mon,
Ann
Dear Costco:
Thank you for moving the diapers and other baby gear so they no longer share the very furthest aisle of the warehouse with the dog food and dog beds.
Now, where have you put the tortillas?
Ann
Dear John and Charles:
Please stay as enthusiastic as you are today. I hope the little things--like seeing the mailman deliver the mail to our mailbox--will always be jump-up-and-down exciting for you.
Watching with admiration,
Mama
Dear Locavores:
I love you and what you stand for, but can you really give up mangoes forever? I can't.
Sorry,
Ann
6 comments:
I hear the "where can I find one of those" comments all the time at the store about my children. Move along, people.
Even worse, now it has become a common occurance at yard sales. "Where can I find one of these?" or "how much for this one?". They are everywhere.
dear ann,
i'm not pregnant, but i can't fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans. does that mean i need to buy pregnancy pants?
help,
ann
Dear Ann,
Clever you.
Love,
Mom
dear ann,
i felt as if i was lost in some sort of timezone warp of some sort while in costco. totally threw off my shopping mojo. you are not alone.
heart,
erin
ps I never got back into my pre-prego pants... maybe a year from now?
Love this.
I'm surprised that the "where can I find one of those" question is so common. I didn't even find it funny the first time.
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