Babydolly's trip to the doctor

I have already mentioned taking my kids to the doctor's office last week on Thursday. Well, I took them on Friday, too. You see, even though all four of them needed their annual check-ups, the doctor's office would only let me schedule two of them on any one day. This was super convenient for me. But that's another story.

This time, John and Charles had their appointments, and the littler kids were along for the ride. Mina, as she so often does, brought BabyDolly along, too. In fact, she even brought her inside with us. I didn't notice--I usually try to make her leave BabyDolly in the car.

Can you see where this is going?

Our doctor visit was uneventful. We learned that the kids were healthy, but we already knew that.
On our way home we stopped at the library. We gathered about a dozen movies and several dozen books and loaded ourselves back into the car to head home. It was then that someone mentioned BabyDolly. I instantly had an image cross my mind: naked BabyDolly face down on the carpet in the doctor's office waiting room. It was the last time I'd seen her, and I knew that's where she was.

I didn't want to turn around and drive to back to the doctor's office right then. It was about 15 minutes away and we were all was ready for lunch. I looked at the clock, and that went out of my head. It was 12:00. In my heart I knew that on a Friday, that was probably the time the office closed for the day.

For the weekend.

I dialed the number: sure enough, the recording stated that they closed at 12 o'clock Friday and would reopen Monday morning at 9 o'clock. I let that be known, and immediately the wailing began.

We were in for a long weekend.

I won't go into that. That's not the part of the story I want to remember here. Yes, she had trouble going to sleep without her best friend/comfort object/baby and yes, she cried for quite a while when she first realized her doll was gone. But I want to talk about some other ways Mina responded. Because maybe I need to learn to be more like Mina.

1. A few minutes into the initial grief, Mina stopped her wailing and said, through her tears, "I guess I'm just going to have to miss BabyDolly for a long time!"

That, right there, from my three-year-old daughter amazed me. I can't recall that sort of mature acceptance of reality from very many three-year-olds I've interacted with. Or even some adults. Ahem.

Can I please borrow a little of that mature acceptance? She realized it couldn't be changed and that she would miss BabyDolly, and she quickly accepted that she would just have to face that.

Oh Mina.

2. Saturday afternoon, Mina was feeling tired and not too happy. I was sitting in the chair in my bedroom and she came and sat on my lap. She was trying to wrap her hair around her fingers (like she does with BabyDolly's hair) and suck her thumb. After a moment she said,

"I miss BabyDolly."

I said, "I know Sweetheart, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," she said, looking up at me now as if I'd said something very silly.

I was silent for a moment thinking about this.  It wasn't my fault, but I had carefully refrained from lecturing her or "I told you so"-ing about it. I hadn't even said, "you have to keep track of her!" Not even once. I waited a few more seconds and then I asked, "Whose fault is it?"

She didn't have to think about that one. "Mine. I left her there."

Oh, that the whole world of people (including her mother) would so objectively take responsibility for their own choices. Oh, that she can hold onto this ability to admit mistakes and not have it threaten her sense of herself as a good human being.

This was a learning experience. But even if she doesn't learn the exact lesson I have in mind, even if she loses track of BabyDolly again someday (which I strongly suspect she will), I know she learned something. I definitely learned some things about Mina  that I'm pleased to know.

And shortly after 9am on Monday morning, before our planned excursion to the beach, we drove the 15 minutes to the doctor's office, hurried out of the car, across the parking lot, up the elevator and into that waiting room. It took only two seconds for John to find her in the waiting room toy box and then BabyDolly was back in her mother's arms, BabyDolly's hair was up Mina's nose, and the world had righted itself again.

Don't you just love a happy ending?