Confessions--3 things by 6:30am

1. I left the oven on last night.

I had baked bread. I was sure that when I pulled the loaves out, took them out of their loaf pans, and placed them on their cooling rack, that I had pressed the OFF/CANCEL button on the oven. I know I remember pressing some button.

But when I woke up this morning, one of the first sounds I remember hearing was the creaky clank of the oven's metal wall complaining to us about the sustained heat. I denied that the sound could possibly be what I thought it was. I ignored it. A minute later, I heard Jeremy hurry down the stairs and press a button (beep!) What else could that sound be?

I came down. "Did I leave the oven on?"
"Yes, you did."

(Mom, aren't you glad to know I forget stuff, too?)

2. I got to the gym too late for my treadmill class.

I got there around when I usually get there, but when I stepped to the desk Kerwin informed me that the 6am class was full. What the heck? It was only 5:56! There is a finite number of treadmills in the room. Namely 18. Not one left for me.

I was upset. I felt excluded. Left out. I went outside and ran loops around the Old Country Buffet parking lot. It wasn't so bad.

Then I went back to the gym. My fellow treadmillers were all still there stretching. I spoke to a guy I frequently run next to and he said, "If you had been here just 2 minutes earlier."

3. I don't regret not getting there 2 minutes earlier.

After he had turned off the oven and I had gotten ready to leave for the gym, Jeremy and I were both in the kitchen. We both stepped toward the fridge to fill our water bottles. But before I could open the top of mine, Jeremy wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. He said, "It's ok. It's just a mistake."

He held me there. I drank in the hug. I knew he was talking about the oven thing. But I could feel his acceptance of me, a gift he has always willingly given me, filling me up. He hugged longer, and I could feel the guilt and stress of all the mistakes of the past few days being hugged away. I took deep breaths, relaxing my body into his, allowing myself to be loved by him as I know he loves me. Still he held me. When he released me, my heart was lighter and my brow was less furrowed.

I wasn't timing it or anything, but I'd say that hug lasted right around 2 minutes. Then I filled my water bottle and went to the gym.