I can't get this conversation off my mind.
I was sitting with a group of friends--all high school friends, some of whom I hadn't seen in years. One friend who was there, however, I have kept in good contact with. She knows my kids and my struggles with them, knows a bit about our impoverished situation. In short, I feel like she gets me. And I respect her, admire her.
That's all background, though. As various old friends were trying catch up on each others' lives, someone asked my dear friend how long she'd been married and if she had any kids.
"No, " says dear friend. "You have to have money to have kids."
What?
I immediately said, "False. I have 2 kids and zero money. Zero."
And my friend responded that I have no money because I have two kids.
But I don't agree. If that's your attitude, when will you ever have kids? When is the time when you won't have a reason to put it off?
What about this: I'm happy that I have kids. I don't want go to work so we can have more money. I don't want to go back and wait a bit longer before having kids. I don't want to have dogs for a few years to prep me for the responsibility of children. I can handle it. If I don't have the money to put my kids in a good preschool, I'll teach them myself and give them lots of other opportunities to learn social skills. If I can't afford new clothes for my kids, I'll let them wear their cousins' hand-me-downs, all the while making sure my boys look clean and neat in their somewhat out-of-style clothing. If I can't buy my son all the new toys he wants, I'll help him make things and use his imagination. If I can't afford goldfish and froot loops and fruit snacks, I'll feed my kids real food--homemade bread and granola, apples and raisins.
And so it will go. I'll be poor with my children. And I hope she chooses to have kids. Soon. It's her decision. I will always say that. But I believe it would make her happier to have kids, no matter how much money she has.
Must have touched a nerve. What do you think? Do you have to have money to have kids?
1 comment:
No, you do not have to have money to have kids. But it would be nice if people had to have sense before they had kids. I know plenty of people who had kids, with or without money, who should've waited until they were a bit more mature, stable, or wise.
Who would you rather see bring children into the world: a mature person with no money or a goofball with a million bucks?
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