1. Not finding out the sex of our baby has had an unexpected result: instead of asking "do you know what you're having?" immediately followed by "so, do you have names picked out?", people usually just make some comment about the surprise factor or ask why we wanted to be surprised. While it does get old to answer the "girl or boy" question a lot (and I do mean A LOT), I am quite pleased that I don't have to constantly tell people that we have no earthly idea what we will name our child and are unlikely to have any idea for many, many weeks. Maybe months.
2. Our sons, in case you didn't know, are named Charles and John. Both are family names. I consider them to also be solid, time-tested, traditional names. That seems to be the direction our name tastes lie. Some think it's boring. But that's ok. I'm not bored.
3. All of my siblings use their full first name--none of them goes by a shortened or nickname version of their name. I think that might be sort of unusual. I call my children Charlie and Johnny, and while these aren't shortened versions of their names, they are definitely nicknames. And I love them so much--the nicknames and the boys themselves.
Jeremy's family is not so averse to nicknames as my siblings seem to be. But, especially with the boys in the family, nicknames are used occasionally--rather than Jacob always being called Jake, I hear various family members call him that just once in a while. They also sometimes call Jeremy "Jer" but not consistently. But if I were to try that sort of shortening with, say, my brother Richard, I can't see it working out. At all. Regardless of how he might feel about it, I can't imagine it coming out of my mouth. He simply isn't anything but Richard to me. Ever.
Is there anything wrong with nicknames? I don't think so. However, I dislike nicknaming when the parents of the newborn say "we're going to name him 'Xyz' but we're going to call him 'something completely unrelated' and isn't that cute?" No, it's not. If you never intend to call the child anything but "SCU," why don't you just name him that and not bother with "Xyz" at all? I've never understood that.
4. There are names I like a lot that I feel I cannot use. I really hate that. Really. And do you know why I feel I can't use them? It's because of what OTHER PEOPLE WOULD THINK if I did. AAAAHHHHHH! Why oh why must it be this way?
5. Back to number 2 for a moment. The names Charles and John have been in the top 100 baby names since 1880. That doesn't bother me. Both are slipping in popularity, and names like "Jayden" and "Ethan" are taking their places. But, when it comes to naming a girl, a name that has been so popular forever and is still in the top 20 or 50 or so seems too popular. Overused. Why do I feel this way?
Here's an example. Elizabeth. Family name. Traditional. Solid. Been in the top 100 forever. It's now at about 10 in the top names for a girl. It's on a slight downward trend, although it might be said to be hovering in the #10 range. And I love the name. It's lovely, despite the unfortunate "Lizzie" nickname. But it seems overdone to me. In ways that Charles and John don't. What is wrong with me? I'm deluded, huh?
6. Maybe it's just that my criteria for a good boy's name are different than my criteria for a good girl's name. And when I say "good" I just mean "acceptable for the child I'm about to have." I ought to be more careful with my language--there are plenty of good names out there that are just not acceptable to me for this baby. But back to the different criteria. So girls get named a little differently than boys do (or did). Is that so crazy?
7. Know what else I'm terrified of? Upward trend baby names. Let me 'splain. So while "John" currently sits at #20 in the top boys' names, it's slipping in popularity. Down from #1 in the 1910s to #3 in the 1960s to #15 in the 1990s. You the picture. But there's another family name that I'd consider for this baby. The name currently sits around 245. No big deal, right? What's shocking is that this name wasn't even in the top 1000 in the 80s and 90s. And suddenly, by 2008, it's at 245. That scares the crap out of me. I almost can't deal with that.
Now you know a little more about my views on names and why it may be nearly impossible to choose a name for this child. Maybe this isn't knowledge you needed in your life. But I sure feel better now that I've written it out.
8 comments:
i couldn't have said this better myself. b and i are seriously considering elizabeth as a girl's name if/when we have one, but i have the same concerns you have about it and would rather just name her libby. but b doesn't like that as a name. not that it's even necessary to decide right now since i'm NOT pregnant (so stop asking if that's reason for my weight gain, people).
my in-laws are definitely nickname people (although b and i only call each other by our regliar names). i'm still getting used to it. don't know if i will ever call my sister's-in-law by any of there various nicknames. don't even feel comfortable doing it in texts between me and b to save characters.
i am intensely curious about the names you like but feel you could never use.
i'm glad you feel better having said it. i enjoyed reading it.
blast. can i go back and edit out the typos? why did i put an apostrophe in sisters? and a couple other things... yes, i'm just saying this so the world knows i know better.
This part of the world knew it, Michelangelo.
About the names issue, sometimes you have to see the baby before you can choose the name. That was true for me with Richard and Andrew (I know, he's not wild about his name) and Ann. Lola came on her grandma Lola's birthday, and I was delighted by that and so gave her my mother's name. It has been a perfect fit for her.
I could go on, Ann, but the short version is that I like all the names of my children. Every single one.
I'd love to hear more about #4 and please know how much I appreciated the use of the phrase "let me 'splain". I was just thinking 1 pillow for each of the 12 tribes of Israel as I made my bed not 10 minutes ago. "Osmond" ;)
It is tough. I too am scared crap-less that the names I have picked for my children will become too popular. Hate that. When all is said and done, just name em' what you want to. Who cares really about what others think, everyone is always gonna have an opinion on any name that you pick.
I am sure whatever name you pick for this babe will be quite lovely.
I have a 6 year old Elizabeth and she has been and will hopefully never be anything but Elizabeth. She is also the only Elizabeth I have met in the Pikes Peak region. So I am not feeling the "overdone" thing.
I say name the kid whatever you like, upward or downward swings in popularity regardless. Children are only defined by their parents for the briefest time. Then, children define themselves.
I think one of the main reasons women have 9 (or 10 months depending on how you count) months is so that the name thing can happen. I also think that is a small reason why it took us so long to have our first. We couldn't agree on a name.
My view is name it what you and your husband like. The rest of the world can sit in wonder.
Thanks for the blog. I felt better reading it.
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